she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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