Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
