this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize