did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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