I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
