Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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