You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
