So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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