You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
