so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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