Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
