God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh god the rape fog is back!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
