okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
