you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
