well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
