Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
