check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
