i jhust puked up my retainher.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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