i need an iv and a liver transplant
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
