i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
