fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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