every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
