As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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