the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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