well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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