GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
