So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
