Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?