HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
