if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My dick has a subreddit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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