you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize