you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
