Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
this boner is exhausting
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
