that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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