i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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