That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
