He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesnโt want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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