he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
