Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
