i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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