at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
