so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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