Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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