Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
