My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
