At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
