yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
