So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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