Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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