well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
