Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
