We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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