i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
