So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She bit a glass in half.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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