omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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