the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
