You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
