is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
